You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
