Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
