yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
