well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize