OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
