He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
