just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
