I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
