You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
