he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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