I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
