Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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