explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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