C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
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I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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