I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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