its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
