We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
