I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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