Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
