Well apparently he's into motor boating.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
