the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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