Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
