in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
