I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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