I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
