You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
