Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
