Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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