He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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