You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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