What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
