Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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