she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
