Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
