I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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