Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
