i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
