Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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