just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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