If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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