If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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