Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
