So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
