I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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