Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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