so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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