Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
