Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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