His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Randomize
