I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The feeling are messing with the penis
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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