he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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