My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
