Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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