Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
