Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
