Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The air was thick with penises
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize