Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
