Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize