Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize