How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
