it wasn't lemon gatorade
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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