Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
