listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You pole danced in your parka.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
