i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
