3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
