I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
