so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
