dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
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his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
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I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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