He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
