No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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