I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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