No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
