I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just found puke in my bra..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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